#41-Shir Hashirim Times Four

Avrohom had tried everything. At 30 years old, shidduchim had completely drained him emotionally, and at this point, he was on the verge of giving up hope. What irritated him the most was when he was given “pearls of wisdom” from well-meaning people with whom he came in contact. Sometimes, people gave dating advice; other times, it was segulah recommendations.

One day, someone suggested that he recite Shir Hashirim for 40 days straight. For some odd reason, this suggestion appealed to Avraham. He knew that Shir Hashirim was an allegory of the relationship between Hashem and his beloved nation, Am Yisroel. Maybe that’s what had spoken to him? Or was it that he hadn’t been on a date for a while, so he was willing to try anything? Whatever it was, this particular segulah appealed to him, and so for the next 40 days, Avraham sat and recited Shir Hashirim. But even after he finished, he didn’t get engaged. As a matter of fact, he couldn’t even get a date. It was just so confusing. Nothing? Not even a name? Assuming that perhaps he had missed a night or some words, he did it again even though it was a huge commitment, 40 days straight. However, this time around, inexplicably, he did not receive even a single suggestion. Agitated, Avrohom was ready to give up. He had trained himself not to hope, and now that he had dared to, he once more felt deflated. Maybe it really was not meant to be! But something was difficult to understand. After saying Shir Hashirim twice, not only was he not better off than before, but he was even worse off. He was going through one of his longest dry spells. Sensing that there was possibly more to this than he could comprehend, he embarked on another 40-day commitment to say Shir Hashirim. Again, with no results. With every passing day, his frustration mounted. He decided he would give it one more shot and recite Shir Hashirim for 40 days for a fourth time. This time, however, he pledged that if it didn’t work, he would never do anything like it again. He began the 40-day cycle.

And on day 40, he got engaged!

At his vort, his future father-in-law got up to speak. With tears welled up in his eyes, he began to address the crowd. “Rabbosai, I had four daughters who were stuck in shidduchim. My wife and I had been ready to give up. We did everything so Hashem would send a yeshuah, but nothing seemed to help. This shidduch was mentioned to us a few months back, but we didn’t want to proceed until our older three daughters got engaged. Amazingly, about five months ago, things began to change. One daughter after the next got engaged. And tonight, we are bH celebrating the vort of our youngest daughter, who is 26.” Avraham could hardly believe his ears! It seemed like the segulah had worked after all! As a result of his commitment, his future sisters-in-law had gotten engaged one by one to clear the way for his kallah. The mystery of the past five months or so had been solved.

This true story was told by Rabbi Yechiel Spero. I think two lessons can be taken from this story: 1. Firstly, the level of commitment this boy had, even when there were seemingly no results, is commendable! 2. The fact that there were no results right away is a lesson in itself. I believe that we’ve all been in similar situations. We’ve had times when we were hoping for a yeshuah, and so we took on kabalos and davened and did things in the zechus that our yeshuah should come. Sometimes, we did get what we were hoping for, but many times, all we had to show for our efforts was crushing disappointment! I’m reminded of the countless times I finished sefer Tehillim, learned Hilchos Shmiras Halashon, did chessed for people, etc., all with the hope that “This time, it’s going to work!” And then nothing. And I remember feeling so upset and frustrated after. Here I was, being so good; Nothing? How is that fair?

I like this story so much because it serves as a reminder that sometimes, we don’t see immediate results for the effort we put in. That doesn’t mean, though, it’s all for naught. Maybe those tefillos and kabbalos are accomplishing something! Perhaps they’re going into your “savings account!”

And I think that this is how the boy in the story was able to keep saying Shir Hashirim again and again. He trusted that there was a plan that Hashem was following, and so he was able to plow on.

We can all try to take the message of this story and remember that sometimes we don’t see the results right away, but that doesn’t mean that nothing is happening on Hashem’s end! Each time you do something for Hashem, you are accumulating wealth in your bank account.

*Story taken from “Touched by His Praise,” a column written in the Yated by Rabbi Yechiel Spero.