#32-Glow Sticks- 6 Month Mark

A mother once walked into a 99-cent store with two of her sons. One son was seven; the other was two. The mother bought for each of them glow sticks. But before the little toddler got a chance to play with his, his seven-year-old brother snatched his glow stick away from him. The little toddler started screaming, “I Want it! Give it back to me! It’s mine!” As the mother was about to rebuke her seven-year-old son for taking the Glow Stick, the seven-year-old took his little brother’s glow stick and cracked it. At that point, the toddler had a full-blown tantrum. The mother was so upset at her seven-year-old son when he turned and said, “Mommy, don’t be upset at me! The way a glow stick works is that if you want to see the stick glow, you have to crack it first. If you just hold it in your hand, it doesn’t light up! Once you bend it and it appears like you’re cracking it, then the light can be released!”

This story has a great parable.

Sometimes in life, we go through difficulties and challenges and feel like we are being “cracked.” But our beautiful light can be revealed only by Hashem “cracking us”!

Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein ZTL said one of the greatest quotes I’ve ever heard, and it goes the following:

“Sometimes you think you are being buried when you are really being planted.”

When times are tough, we may question why Hashem is putting us through difficult circumstances. However, we forget Hashem knows our potential and sees the end result! Although at the moment we may feel like we are being buried, maybe in reality, Hashem is putting us through this experience because He knows that as a result of going through it, we will flourish and grow.

On a personal level, this challenge with shidduchim is not something I would’ve asked for. But now that I’m in it, I see how I’ve grown from it and have become a better person as a result. Because the parsha of shidduchim can either make you or break you. And sometimes it needs to break you in order to make you.

People often tell me, “Shira, you’re so amazing! You’re so inspiring…” And I want people to realize that while this may be true (I hope I sound humble😉), it wasn’t a push of a button and didn’t happen overnight! It comes after a lot of inner work. If someone had told me five years ago that I’d be running a support group & would be sending out inspirational emails, I would’ve laughed and said, “What?! It’s so not me!” But being that I’m going through this challenge and am experiencing the pain, struggles, dreams, and hopes that come along with it gave me the drive to try to help others going through this challenge.

Why am I sharing this?

Because the truth is that we’re all going through this challenge and experiencing this on our own level. We know the pain, struggles, dreams, & hopes that come along with this challenge. When we remember that the “cracks and bends” serve a purpose and shape us into a greater and better version of ourselves, it gives us the chizzuk to go on. Once one is out of a difficult situation, it's common to look back and be grateful for the challenge. But being thankful for the challenge while still in it, while much harder, is an even greater act.

I think my group's name, Sparks of Light, fits perfectly with this theme of glow sticks. Every one of us has some shining Sparks of Light within. Sometimes, however, it is only by being cracked that we can see our glowing light emerge. Initially, I named this group Sparks of Light because I felt like the journey of shidduchim can sometimes feel like a dark tunnel. My goal for this group was to share some insights that would (hopefully) shed some light in the darkness. However, in reality, because each of you are going through this challenge, are part of this group, and are (I hope;)) applying some of the tools, skills, and ideas that were addressed, you are actually changing, growing, and becoming a better person internally. You each are a glow stick casting light and inspiring others!

*Glow sticks idea said over by Rabbi Meyer Simcha Sperling on TorahAnytime.com.