#30-Tool To Combat Jealousy

Something that the majority of us singles deal with at some point or other is feelings of jealousy. Jealousy of looking around and seeing all the happily married couples while we are dying to move on with life. Jealousy from seeing our friends/relatives have one baby after the next bH while we’re still stuck at first base. And while none of us would wish for others to suffer, at the same time, we may feel like, “Why can’t I just have it too?!”

While these feelings of jealousy aren’t pleasant, they are perfectly understandable & normal. It’s hard to see others get what we so badly want. Today, I’d like to share a tool that has helped me in this area in the hope that it will help others as well.

First, I will start by getting to the root of jealousy.

Feelings of jealousy can be coming from two very different places. One may be coming from a place of feeling like, “How come everyone else can have it but not me?! I’m also a good person! I’m also deserving…"

The second place where the jealousy can be coming from is, “I deserve it more than she does! After all, I’m better/ more capable! etc.”

I think for most singles, the jealousy we experience is the first type, coming from a place of, “How come everyone else has it?! I’m also a good person.” The tool I'll be discussing applies to this type of jealousy. It's really quite simple, and if you internalize it, it can change the way you cope when those around you are moving on while you’re not.

The tool is realizing & more than that, really internalizing that no one can take away what is meant for you; whatever Hashem determines is yours, no one can touch! When your friends/relatives move on, they are not taking away your husband or baby! Your husband and kids are set aside, reserved for you!

This tool really helped me stay strong as more & more of my high school friends moved on with life and got engaged/married/ had kids, etc.

Because, subconsciously, I believe that there is this fear when others move on, that now others will take away what is ours. But Hashem doesn’t have a limited supply of husbands/ babies. His reserves are limitless! When He determines that your time has come, the door of blessing will suddenly open, and you will receive everything you’ve been waiting for.

So when those who are close to you move on, and the jealousy and anxiety start creeping in, just remember that you have a reservation with Hashem.

And when he determines the time is ripe, you will get exactly what is reserved for you!