#26-Hidden Presents

Shidduchim is a roller coaster ride, full of ups & downs. If we feel like our world is crashing down around us, the greatest thing we can do is to strengthen ourselves like a lion, & go on with life. Remembering that Hashem is the one who has brought about this difficulty and that it’s there for our ultimate good gives us the strength we need to go on. Although initially, at times, we may feel like there is nothing to look forward to, & we would rather stay home & mope, usually, there are hidden presents waiting to be given by Hashem in these situations. However, in order to access them, we need to do our part first.

A single girl who grew up in a remote area of Canada went to a seminary in Israel. While there, she became very friendly with a nice group of girls from Brooklyn. As many of her siblings & friends were living in Brooklyn, she wanted to live there as well. When seminary was over, this single girl found herself a job in Brooklyn & a place to live.

As she wasn’t yet a U.S. citizen, she would periodically travel back to Canada to visit her parents. The last time she went, she was stopped at the border & was questioned as to why she had spent so much time in the U.S. The last time she was there, she had been there for six months straight. The authorities weren’t satisfied with her response, & they ended up putting her in handcuffs. After a lot of questioning, they eventually let her go but said she would never be allowed into the US again until she could prove that she was actually living in Canada. At this piece of news, this single girl’s heart dropped. Her entire life was in Brooklyn; her job, her friends, & most of her family! In addition, she was trying to get married and felt that Brooklyn would be a better place for shidduch opportunities. There weren’t many Frum boys who were on her level where she lived in Canada, & besides, she didn’t want to live there either. She did have a sister living in Montreal, and so she decided to go live with her until she could figure things out. While there, she was very down. She didn’t want to do anything productive, as she felt what was the point? She didn’t want to be there!

After two weeks of this, someone gave her a lot of chizzuk and Emunah. That gave her the strength to pick herself up and start living life again. She found a job in the neighborhood, which she enjoyed very much. At that job, she met another woman who suggested a relative of hers as a possible shidduch. The woman told the single, “This boy is currently living in Toronto; however, he has dual citizenship in both the US and Canada, & his life really is in Brooklyn.” The girl looked into it, accepted the offer, & ended up getting married to this boy! She was now allowed back into America through marriage, got her old job back, is living in the exact place she wanted to be, and is happily married!

What she thought was the absolute worst thing possible was really a blessing in disguise! Hashem led her to the hidden present He had set aside for her. She needed to pick herself up first in order to access it. It was the chizzuk & Emunah, which she heard, that gave her the strength she so badly needed. It was specifically through her getting up & moving on, though it was so difficult, that she experienced her salvation.

Hidden presents are waiting for us all the time. Very often, our Emunah in times of difficulty leads us to those presents.

(Story taken from the Daily Chizzuk line, by Rabbi David Ashear)

I once read a great quote: "When one door closes, another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones that open for us.” If we would only open our eyes more, then even within the difficulties, we would be able to see the hidden presents that are there.

Although the stage of shidduchim is very difficult, nonetheless, on a personal level, certain opportunities are only here due to this challenge. (For me personally, one small example is this group. If I had married at age 20, this group definitely wouldn’t have happened! Being in this stage & feeling the pain that comes with it made me recognize the lack of support so many singles are experiencing, which prompted me to do something about it.)

If we start looking for the little cracks in the closed doors that come our way, we will let in a Hashem, who will lead us to our hidden presents!